“Loving people well means living with constant interruptions.”
This powerful quote by Bob Goff hit me hard a couple of years ago. As an Athletic Director and Coach for over a decade, I’ve had the opportunity to coach, teach, and lead many athletes and coaches. I realized a while ago that the quote by Bob Goff is so true. Why? Because all of our lives are messy. None of us are perfect. We shouldn’t be hoping that there are no interruptions in our job, but rather know and expect them to come. From my experience, when things are “ok”, it probably means I’m not as connected as I should be with my athletes and staff because odds are there is always something tough going on in somebody’s life. We shouldn’t expect life to be perfect because none of us are perfect. So, how do we practically lead and love others well while living with constant interruptions? Here are four ways I’ve seen that can help you and I lead with love.
LOCK IN.
Our students, athletes, and staff need our full attention. When they come to our office, stop us after a meeting or practice to share a problem, a question, or just want to talk let’s give them our full focus. Giving eye contact and not multi-tasking will show them we truly care. We must create an environment where people know we are locked into their concerns. Them coming to you is a big deal and should be encouraging that they trust you enough to open up about an issue. Don’t hurt that trust by showing frustration towards them. If the time isn’t right for you to give your full attention, then recommend another time that will work.
LISTEN
Listen to learn, not just respond. Listening to understand allows for clarity and shows you care. Many times, as leaders, we may already know at least some of their concerns, but allowing the person to share their concerns or frustration shows respect. Many times, people just need to share with leadership concerns they have about their jobs, school, or personal lives. They simply want to make sure we, as leaders, know and understand the issue. Justin Su’ua says it well. “Good relationship builders take time to understand the perspectives of others.”
LOVE
Once you listen to their concern, truly care about their concern. Showing them that you care about their issue means a lot. Mano Watsa, who is a great leader in the world of sports, has said, “Love is a commitment to someone else’s best interest”. Having a mindset to support and guide instead of command or demand will make a huge difference.
LEAD
We may or may not have the answer in the moment, and that’s ok. Our call as leaders is to listen and love others. Sometimes we don’t have a specific answer for their concern and other times we may not have the answer they want to hear. If we lead with love, we gain trust so that even when the answer is tough to hear they know we’re saying it out of a heart that cares for them. Other times we may need to do more work to figure out an answer or work to find a resolution. This process does take time, but our job as leaders is to help lead and guide others.
I do want to be clear that you don’t need to feel the weight of everyone’s issues, that’s not always healthy or even possible. The goal is to have a welcoming mindset that desires to help others and doesn’t get surprised or frustrated when they come with their concerns. Many times, you guiding them to a boss, an admin, or a counselor who is more equipped for the situation is exactly what they need! There are a million different scenarios out there, but being present in the moment with the person who is struggling makes a huge positive impact! Thank you to so many of you who are working hard to have this mindset every day, you are making a difference!
May we as leaders lock in, listen, love, and lead others well!
About The Author
Kyle McVey currently serves as the Assistant Athletic Director and Assistant Basketball Coach at the New College of Florida, a position he’s held since June 2023.
Prior to his time in Florida, McVey served as the athletic director at his alma mater, Schaumburg Christian School (IL). During his 11 years there, McVey transformed the athletic program by adding multiple sports and levels, navigating the school into the state high school association, creating developmental leagues/camps, and helping athletes receive college scholarship opportunities.
McVey has a bachelor’s degree in History Education from Bob Jones University and a master’s degree in Sports Management from Liberty University, along with ASEP coaching certifications. Follow Kyle on Twitter/X: @KyleMcVey23
